Jup...:p...I mean Yup...YUp-yUP..puP..:)

Long time....Yes. It is because time flies sometimes so fast. It is almost Christmas already. It is quite odd... :)...and last 8 :) months have been fun..so it is quite logical they have gone fast....but still..This fast..It feels odd. Then it is spring and we write our final exams...And then we all have to decide what we will become when we grow up. When we are big adults and do real things and have real jobs and earn real money - of course :P...

And I have changed so much during the year...during the past 2 and ½ years too...I feel so much older than back then...I mean 2½ years ago. It is odd. I think life is odd so I think I think all things are odd in some way...Odd way to think :) - I think :p...Funny thing to say...Yup..(np:Children of Bodom - Somebody Put Something In My Drink) I wouldn't have liked that song 8 months ago but now I really like it....:)

Okay. This poem is different from the previous ones..So I don't know is it even a proper one...but once again I kinda like it...So I put it here..You don't have to read it..Put here it is if you want do so..Feel like it or something :)

Time flies

Time flies when you have fun.
It makes you heart fly
it makes you feel light and good.

You feel you can do anything
just because you feel so.

Your heart pounds
it beats so hard
and you feel so warm.

Like nothing could ever hurt you again.
Like there weren't bad things at all
like all bad things would just be a really bad dream.

You can just be.
Forget all the bad things.

Feel the softness around you.
Feel the love around you.
And you can just be within it.
Feeling it, loving it....and being there in it.
In the warm place we all have deep in our hearts.

-Vierna-...........[All things are odd...so we all are odd too :) ]

Just a test

I just wanted to test where this post will be if I publish newer post first and then this one :P



-Vierna-....[hehe]

hehe..long time no see...again

Time flies....It is already Oct....of..it is November. O.O....Surprise surprise. About that exam I had..I will probably get a C...It is OK but not so good that I hoped. The thing that I wanted to tell about wasn't really that....This post is about odd things so...so don't reed it too closely...Please

What does all the things mean. Does everything always mean something. Have a meaning. Or is there things that doesn't mean anything even if it feels like it mean something but you just don't' know what it means....I'm a bit confused so I think it is better I just end it here...

Made a poem once again....don't know why I put it here...hehe...:)

A little leaf of maple

Am I just a piece of trash.
Something very boring
something very ugly
and all the possible bad things.

What does it mean?
Or does it even mean anything?
What do I have to think about it?

When you look into my eyes
and say you are sorry
but still you don't even try to do things otherwise.

What does it mean?
What I suppose to think?
What I suppose to feel?

In the end it even doesn't matter
because it is just me who asks.
A little leaf of maple.

-Vierna-..............[living is just a small part of our lives ^^]

So....again...Yup!....:)

So. Yesterday I had that test. I didn't like it. It was difficult and there weren't enough time to do it :S...or I was just so stupid I couldn't do it faster. :( And now I just can wait what grade I will get. I can't do anything more for it. Aaargh! :S...Still so nervous..when I just think about that test :S...What if I fail? What if I don't pass the test?...Am I a loser?...Am I just very stupid? - Or does it even change me? Does it?...(yes, I know stupid questions but when you are enough nervous you (or at least I) think very odd things.

Okay...I don't know if I really want to put this poem here or not [I just thought that in the end I would put it anyway - so why not today]. I kinda like it but it is different and...Okay...I just wrote it (like all of my poems) so please don't read it too closely ^^.

The power of love

The power of love is the one that moves me
it makes me live day after day.

The power of love makes me strong
it makes me happy
but it also makes me vulnerable.

It is so because
I can't stand sadness in your eyes
I can't stand anger in your heart.

And day after day I keep hoping
that I haven't hurt you
that I haven't make you angry.

Those feelings are so strong
and they make me confused.
And that is why I don't know what to think
but one thing is certain;
I will love you forever.

-Vierna- [please don't' kill me...or actually who cares ;) - in the end one have to die only once ^^ ]

Aaaaaargh :S

I have an important test tomorrow so I'm quite nervous about it. I should go sleep early but I don't know can I sleep if I am too nervous. I don't know. My mum said it doesn't matter if I got an A if I pass the test. But it matters to me and I'm nervous. Okay, in the other hand I have to admit it was a relief to realize it is more likely that I pass the test than I got I and I don't pass it :) (like 5% or something gets I) - [don't know is it true that it is like that...]
I would be very happy if I got C. M would be something I just dream about. What comes to E and L I can't ever even imagine I could be so good at English I could get such a good grade ^^. So I'm quite happy after all because I just want to pass the exam [<- okay, its a lie but I have to believe it to be calmer :) ] {<- in some ways its true but in the end I won't be completely happy if I got just A - B is completely different thing :) }

I'm so nervous that my mind doesn't float freely around like it normally does...[it means I can't write poems :( ]

-Vierna- [long time no see :) - happy to see you again :) ] - {please laugh at me if you want - at least you live longer :) }

Odd feelings...Ay?... *frog [not grudge]*

It feels so....so..ah - not good when you don't know what to think about something. It feels so odd - and twisting. And then I just once again wrote something. A poem like thing.
I don't' even have proper reason to this writing. I just like it. Writing I mean. I wrote a poem just I said. Then I wrote an other one. The first paragraph is same but all other paragraphs are totally different. The second one is more like what kind of poem I wanted to write but then I just felt like writing something totally different. So here are my two poems. Have fun with them. I had. ^^ [or something]

My dark room

Sometimes I feel so lost
so lost I barely know my name.

And it hurts
it hurts like stabbed time and again.

Then I'm once again in my dark room
finding no way out.

Praying the Angel of death to save me from my nightmares
but it won't save me.

Because there isn't heaven to me
nor hell either.

My dark room is my life
my world
and my destiny.



And the second one:

Destiny

Sometimes I feel so lost
so lost I barely know my name.

I'm lost in the shadows
losing a part of myself every second.

And in the end there is nothing left of me.
I just disappear from the Earth.
- leaving things just like I never have even lived.

It is my destiny
but I'm not sorry because of it.
I'm happy of it
because then I wont' hurt anyone.

-Vierna-..........[Do you know what is the fastest way to die? *frog*]

^_^

This is very stupid blogging system. It doesn't show my newest posts...It will be seen does it show this one..

-Vierna-

Waiting... >.<

It is funny when you wait something to happen the only thing you can properly think is that what you are waiting for. You watch a clock hundreds and hundreds of times. You think how many hours you still have to wait before the time comes and the thing you have been waiting for so desperately comes true. And then all the time and waiting feels so..so meaningless and then you almost feel yourself stupid because you felt so awful when you just have to wait. And you are so happy that no one in this world could be happier...or so it feels like.

-Vierna-

proper writing?...Ay?

Yup! It is a long time since I last time wrote here....Anyway. That wasn't the point...or actually it was. I just haven't got anything smart to say. [ay...I don't have anything smart to say,ay?]...Ay is almost like yup..Fun to say and write...But now it is summer and I like it because it is holiday...otherwise I prefer autumn. [I love it when leaves are orange, yellow and other wonderful colors ^^]...yes...and I noticed just a minute ago that I can't write properly...[I don't mean I once could have written properly..or something]

-Vierna-...........[writer who can't write properly...or so he says ^^]

:)....Interesting day

Yesh! Yesterday was a very interesting a day because I had a belt test or would I rather call it rank test. I think belt exam would actually be the best choice but who knows :). Point here is that it was very exiting be in one for a long time. I haven't had a one for a one and half years [and one is kept in half a year] Yesh. I made lots of stupid [and funny] mistakes but I got the upper belt. I'm not upper green [5 gup] anymore. I'm blue one. And very proud of it :). (4 gup is blue)

Sorry if I'm too arrogant or something but when you have just a few things be proud of. I mean you can't seldom be happy of you own good success [because you do things mostly badly or ok] you want to celebrate much when you have a great success.

-Vierna-....[almost forget....YUP-yupyup-yup-yp-up-yupyup ^^]

ok?...yupypuyupyup...yesh ok...yuppp ^.^

Uh! I wouldn't want to do all this school stuff I have to do. It takes so much time. And there is so many other things I'd like to do. Better things. Much better :). But one have to do what one have to do. And what I am doing now -> writing to my blog in order not do school stuff *cat-face*. I'm such a lazy person.

These two past months has been one of the happiest times of my hole life. It is crazy how fast it had gone. Two months. It felt like a week, or not even that.

Once again a poem of mine, it isn't as good as the past ones but I kind of like it anyway :)

Odds of the life

It is odd how fast time can fly,
it is odd how happy u can be,
it is odd how lonely u can be.

But it is all just life.

And u just live it through,
with suffering and sadness
but also with joy and happiness.

They are all parts of life.

But death is also part of life.
Death, which is dark and pure
and that's why it is so beautiful.

When there is death you need also life, but when there is life you need also death.

-Vierna-..................[up-yup-love-yup-eh?-yesh?-yupp-uvh-yup-eh? -_- -yupyup]

Yupyup - yup -yupyup - yup - yp - p - ^^

It is really odd how quickly things can change. I was just a little bit carried away by all this blogging stuff...then I realized that this blogging..umm....something is quite good. Then suddenly two of my dearest friends have suddenly blogg also here...not mention about someone who I really care about (the most in this world). (he has got blogg here a looong time).

Once again a poem of mine :)...hope u like it ..*frog*

Closest to death

Sometimes when you are near me
I can feel how my wings are growing back
how my wings are healing.

It is because of you.

You recover me
you give my life back to me.
It is only you who can save me.

And when you walk away..

I can feel my wings burning away faster than ever,
and then I'm the closest to the death you can get.
And still I can never die.

-Vierna-.....[love gives u power, but it also makes you vulnerable]

It is so odd how quickly things can change. One day everything is something and then it is something else. It is odd and sometimes very sad....when u can't control things, when everything just happens and then...everything is what it is...I'm not talking about present but things before, long time ago. When I used to have my wings...I think :)

Eternal suffering

My wings have burned away.
My lovely wings
with colors so dark that my wings looks white and still colors so white my wings looks dark.

I can't fly
I can't live
but I can die neither

So my world have burned away with them.

My lovely wings,
I used to fly
I used to live
but now I just suffer and suffer to the end of time.

Until they finally see me
until they finally hear me
until then I wait here in my dark room.

Waiting and crying for end, but still hoping so desperately that someone would save me from this eternal suffering.

-Vierna-.........[hope u understood me correctly :) ]

Mmmm...I don't have anything to here..:)

Yes...Maybe, maybe I would have to admit that I'm sometimes a dark person or think about somethings in quite darkly. If you understand what I mean. I haven't always been so dark or so. Something just happened time before and then I slowly or like lightning strike turned into this what I'm now....see what I mean. That doesn't mean I wouldn't be naive, because that I definitely am. :)...yesh.. I hope you understand me..or what I'm saying...once again a poem of mine :)..

Dark

Darkness is quite
it is soft and tender.

When dark is light
it is pure and beautiful.

Life is shadows
you can't know what will happen tomorrow.

And life is play of the dark and the white light
that's why life is so beautiful but that makes death even more beautiful.

Death is the true shadow
the dark light of the world.

Death is life
and life is death.

-Vierna-...........................[yesh...:)]

Jesh---almost ..somethong very clever I think..read nothing :)

Hi!
I just don't want to do something useful...like read to my maths exam or something like that.. Just so bored with school and other stuff like that. :(. Wouldn't want to care about anything like that. Just be and live. But that's kind of impossible....because we have to be something. But if we don't know who we are how can you be something if you don't know who you are or who you would like to be.
Here is again one poem of mine. There might be a few mistakes, but I like it anyway :).

Lost

My soul is lost.
And so I am lost in the darkness of my mind,
I have no way out.

My soul is lost.
In the darkness of shadows,
I don't have light which would lead me out of there.

My soul is lost.
There isn't anything for me anymore.
The only thing left for me is dying
and still I'm too lost to even die.

-Vierna-...........[living is just preparing for dying]

Ah....now I noticed that I can add a title to my post..[stupid me :)]

Hi again!
It is fun to write hear. I actually don't know does anybody even read this blog, but does it matter. Yes, it matters, but I think there isn't any ways i could really get to know does somebody read this or doesn't.
But yes I could finally get to the point. I love making poems. Most of my poems are written in other language that English and at least for now I want to keep this blog just English. But then I have several poems like Duck which are in English. So is the poem below. I like it so I decided to put it here. I hope someone would like it to. [I know it maybe is very bad poem, but I'm selfish person and because I like it I put it here :)]

For u

I would be happy
if I hided all your tears behind my wings.
I would be happy
if I could heal all u wounds.

Its all because;
I live for u,
I die for u.
There isn't anything I wouldn't do for u.

So I'm so happy,
every time I see u smile.
And so helplessly sad
when I see u crying.

Its all because of u.
There ain't anything for me.
Just loneliness and sadness
if anybody doesn't need those.

But still I live,
still I suffer.
And I do it happily to the time you say;
"Its time for you to die my love"

And then I just die away,
and all I have done,
all I have sacrificed
just for u.

-Vierna-.........[the slowets way of dying is living]

Okay..now the first...or maybe the second "real" post :)....Yesh and a poem of mine. It is very crazy one but I somehow like it anyway so does it matter that it is crazy. At least it looks like me...I'm crazy too so...:)...Read it and have [hopefully] fun!
Duck
There was a duck
standing on a dock.
He gave me a gaze
that felt like a maze.

Then I thought I saw a troll,
but it was actually a doll.
She gave me a flower
that had an odd power.

It made me saw a pink dwarf
walking on a wharf.
Then I suddenly fainted
to bench that was just painted.

When I finally woke up
I realised I have become a duck.
[hope u had fun ;)]

-Vierna-

Hellou!!!.....I have already once tried to create a blog, but this stupid system doesn't let to sign in to that blog. btw. the address to there is vierna.blogspot.com.

-Vierna-....[have nothing to say, but have fun and laugh so you live longer]