Odd feelings...Ay?... *frog [not grudge]*

It feels so....so..ah - not good when you don't know what to think about something. It feels so odd - and twisting. And then I just once again wrote something. A poem like thing.
I don't' even have proper reason to this writing. I just like it. Writing I mean. I wrote a poem just I said. Then I wrote an other one. The first paragraph is same but all other paragraphs are totally different. The second one is more like what kind of poem I wanted to write but then I just felt like writing something totally different. So here are my two poems. Have fun with them. I had. ^^ [or something]

My dark room

Sometimes I feel so lost
so lost I barely know my name.

And it hurts
it hurts like stabbed time and again.

Then I'm once again in my dark room
finding no way out.

Praying the Angel of death to save me from my nightmares
but it won't save me.

Because there isn't heaven to me
nor hell either.

My dark room is my life
my world
and my destiny.



And the second one:

Destiny

Sometimes I feel so lost
so lost I barely know my name.

I'm lost in the shadows
losing a part of myself every second.

And in the end there is nothing left of me.
I just disappear from the Earth.
- leaving things just like I never have even lived.

It is my destiny
but I'm not sorry because of it.
I'm happy of it
because then I wont' hurt anyone.

-Vierna-..........[Do you know what is the fastest way to die? *frog*]

^_^

This is very stupid blogging system. It doesn't show my newest posts...It will be seen does it show this one..

-Vierna-

Waiting... >.<

It is funny when you wait something to happen the only thing you can properly think is that what you are waiting for. You watch a clock hundreds and hundreds of times. You think how many hours you still have to wait before the time comes and the thing you have been waiting for so desperately comes true. And then all the time and waiting feels so..so meaningless and then you almost feel yourself stupid because you felt so awful when you just have to wait. And you are so happy that no one in this world could be happier...or so it feels like.

-Vierna-

proper writing?...Ay?

Yup! It is a long time since I last time wrote here....Anyway. That wasn't the point...or actually it was. I just haven't got anything smart to say. [ay...I don't have anything smart to say,ay?]...Ay is almost like yup..Fun to say and write...But now it is summer and I like it because it is holiday...otherwise I prefer autumn. [I love it when leaves are orange, yellow and other wonderful colors ^^]...yes...and I noticed just a minute ago that I can't write properly...[I don't mean I once could have written properly..or something]

-Vierna-...........[writer who can't write properly...or so he says ^^]

:)....Interesting day

Yesh! Yesterday was a very interesting a day because I had a belt test or would I rather call it rank test. I think belt exam would actually be the best choice but who knows :). Point here is that it was very exiting be in one for a long time. I haven't had a one for a one and half years [and one is kept in half a year] Yesh. I made lots of stupid [and funny] mistakes but I got the upper belt. I'm not upper green [5 gup] anymore. I'm blue one. And very proud of it :). (4 gup is blue)

Sorry if I'm too arrogant or something but when you have just a few things be proud of. I mean you can't seldom be happy of you own good success [because you do things mostly badly or ok] you want to celebrate much when you have a great success.

-Vierna-....[almost forget....YUP-yupyup-yup-yp-up-yupyup ^^]

ok?...yupypuyupyup...yesh ok...yuppp ^.^

Uh! I wouldn't want to do all this school stuff I have to do. It takes so much time. And there is so many other things I'd like to do. Better things. Much better :). But one have to do what one have to do. And what I am doing now -> writing to my blog in order not do school stuff *cat-face*. I'm such a lazy person.

These two past months has been one of the happiest times of my hole life. It is crazy how fast it had gone. Two months. It felt like a week, or not even that.

Once again a poem of mine, it isn't as good as the past ones but I kind of like it anyway :)

Odds of the life

It is odd how fast time can fly,
it is odd how happy u can be,
it is odd how lonely u can be.

But it is all just life.

And u just live it through,
with suffering and sadness
but also with joy and happiness.

They are all parts of life.

But death is also part of life.
Death, which is dark and pure
and that's why it is so beautiful.

When there is death you need also life, but when there is life you need also death.

-Vierna-..................[up-yup-love-yup-eh?-yesh?-yupp-uvh-yup-eh? -_- -yupyup]

Yupyup - yup -yupyup - yup - yp - p - ^^

It is really odd how quickly things can change. I was just a little bit carried away by all this blogging stuff...then I realized that this blogging..umm....something is quite good. Then suddenly two of my dearest friends have suddenly blogg also here...not mention about someone who I really care about (the most in this world). (he has got blogg here a looong time).

Once again a poem of mine :)...hope u like it ..*frog*

Closest to death

Sometimes when you are near me
I can feel how my wings are growing back
how my wings are healing.

It is because of you.

You recover me
you give my life back to me.
It is only you who can save me.

And when you walk away..

I can feel my wings burning away faster than ever,
and then I'm the closest to the death you can get.
And still I can never die.

-Vierna-.....[love gives u power, but it also makes you vulnerable]