Resently everything have been so...so..odd. I mean everything is changing. Future is more open than ever. I can do (almost) what ever I want with it. Somehow everything in my past have someway somehow been so clear. Okay, I just go there and do things as I have done them....but now it is so different. Have to do big decisions. And I hate making any decisions. It is so difficult for me sometimes.
Ye...Everybody keeps saying: "It is not ...ummm...bad (best word for what I mean ^^..I think) if I now decide something and then after few years change my mind"...But I disagree...Is it so simple to change your mind and just do something else? Okay. Maybe it is....But I mean really..Is it?
....>.< ...Fighting with me again..(I mean I'm fighting with me :])
Okay...And then a poem. Suitable for my confused feelings :)....
A shade of a spirit
Am I really here?
Don't know the answer
because sometimes everything feels so unreal,
like a dream.
Am I just sleeping then?
Having a beautiful dream
while my real life is like nightmare.
Who could save me from my nightmares?
Wake me up
and save me from this eternal torturing.
I would like to wake up.
I would like to see my nightmares go away.
But I know it is impossible
because I am just a shade of a spirit with burning wings.
-Vierna-....[yesh...still here...still :)...and sorry about my bad English :/]
Thursday, 27 March 2008
Thursday, 10 January 2008
"==( - :P___ (meaning 2008 ^^)
Oh! It is really year 2008. It could be just year 2007. Everything would be different then. We all would be a year younger and all. It could be funny if I had a change to go back in time. Like a year - then I would know all this stuff I know now. Would I have done things differently? -mu- Okay. That isn't a real question because no one can know the answer - and I hate that kinds of questions because history can't be changed :P
Okay that part was nothing. I am just shocked because it is year 2008 not 2007. Time flies ^^
I read my old poems and found this. It is kinda nice. Okay I like all of my poems - even if they were odder than odd :). [haven't been too poemish lately (poemish - I mean the feeling when you write poems - it is not like I'll write a poem. It is a feeling ^^ -it probably isn't even a word ^^ ) ]
We are not here
What means it.
"We are here"
What means it.
How we even can know where we are.
If all this is just a big lie.
If all this is just a big illusion.
How we even can know what means the word "truth"
or "lie".
How we can know anything.
Is it just child's pure trust
when we believe that the sky is blue?
Or anything that we keep certain.
I don't believe we are here
'cause then we would be just flesh and bones.
We are in some place else
our souls are in some place else.
But sometimes we really are here.
Those moments are moments of our heart
when our heart and soul becomes one.
-Vierna-........[I'm not here ^^]
Okay that part was nothing. I am just shocked because it is year 2008 not 2007. Time flies ^^
I read my old poems and found this. It is kinda nice. Okay I like all of my poems - even if they were odder than odd :). [haven't been too poemish lately (poemish - I mean the feeling when you write poems - it is not like I'll write a poem. It is a feeling ^^ -it probably isn't even a word ^^ ) ]
We are not here
What means it.
"We are here"
What means it.
How we even can know where we are.
If all this is just a big lie.
If all this is just a big illusion.
How we even can know what means the word "truth"
or "lie".
How we can know anything.
Is it just child's pure trust
when we believe that the sky is blue?
Or anything that we keep certain.
I don't believe we are here
'cause then we would be just flesh and bones.
We are in some place else
our souls are in some place else.
But sometimes we really are here.
Those moments are moments of our heart
when our heart and soul becomes one.
-Vierna-........[I'm not here ^^]
Monday, 19 November 2007
Jup...:p...I mean Yup...YUp-yUP..puP..:)
Long time....Yes. It is because time flies sometimes so fast. It is almost Christmas already. It is quite odd... :)...and last 8 :) months have been fun..so it is quite logical they have gone fast....but still..This fast..It feels odd. Then it is spring and we write our final exams...And then we all have to decide what we will become when we grow up. When we are big adults and do real things and have real jobs and earn real money - of course :P...
And I have changed so much during the year...during the past 2 and ½ years too...I feel so much older than back then...I mean 2½ years ago. It is odd. I think life is odd so I think I think all things are odd in some way...Odd way to think :) - I think :p...Funny thing to say...Yup..(np:Children of Bodom - Somebody Put Something In My Drink) I wouldn't have liked that song 8 months ago but now I really like it....:)
Okay. This poem is different from the previous ones..So I don't know is it even a proper one...but once again I kinda like it...So I put it here..You don't have to read it..Put here it is if you want do so..Feel like it or something :)
Time flies
Time flies when you have fun.
It makes you heart fly
it makes you feel light and good.
You feel you can do anything
just because you feel so.
Your heart pounds
it beats so hard
and you feel so warm.
Like nothing could ever hurt you again.
Like there weren't bad things at all
like all bad things would just be a really bad dream.
You can just be.
Forget all the bad things.
Feel the softness around you.
Feel the love around you.
And you can just be within it.
Feeling it, loving it....and being there in it.
In the warm place we all have deep in our hearts.
-Vierna-...........[All things are odd...so we all are odd too :) ]
And I have changed so much during the year...during the past 2 and ½ years too...I feel so much older than back then...I mean 2½ years ago. It is odd. I think life is odd so I think I think all things are odd in some way...Odd way to think :) - I think :p...Funny thing to say...Yup..(np:Children of Bodom - Somebody Put Something In My Drink) I wouldn't have liked that song 8 months ago but now I really like it....:)
Okay. This poem is different from the previous ones..So I don't know is it even a proper one...but once again I kinda like it...So I put it here..You don't have to read it..Put here it is if you want do so..Feel like it or something :)
Time flies
Time flies when you have fun.
It makes you heart fly
it makes you feel light and good.
You feel you can do anything
just because you feel so.
Your heart pounds
it beats so hard
and you feel so warm.
Like nothing could ever hurt you again.
Like there weren't bad things at all
like all bad things would just be a really bad dream.
You can just be.
Forget all the bad things.
Feel the softness around you.
Feel the love around you.
And you can just be within it.
Feeling it, loving it....and being there in it.
In the warm place we all have deep in our hearts.
-Vierna-...........[All things are odd...so we all are odd too :) ]
Just a test
I just wanted to test where this post will be if I publish newer post first and then this one :P
-Vierna-....[hehe]
-Vierna-....[hehe]
Saturday, 3 November 2007
hehe..long time no see...again
Time flies....It is already Oct....of..it is November. O.O....Surprise surprise. About that exam I had..I will probably get a C...It is OK but not so good that I hoped. The thing that I wanted to tell about wasn't really that....This post is about odd things so...so don't reed it too closely...Please
What does all the things mean. Does everything always mean something. Have a meaning. Or is there things that doesn't mean anything even if it feels like it mean something but you just don't' know what it means....I'm a bit confused so I think it is better I just end it here...
Made a poem once again....don't know why I put it here...hehe...:)
A little leaf of maple
Am I just a piece of trash.
Something very boring
something very ugly
and all the possible bad things.
What does it mean?
Or does it even mean anything?
What do I have to think about it?
When you look into my eyes
and say you are sorry
but still you don't even try to do things otherwise.
What does it mean?
What I suppose to think?
What I suppose to feel?
In the end it even doesn't matter
because it is just me who asks.
A little leaf of maple.
-Vierna-..............[living is just a small part of our lives ^^]
What does all the things mean. Does everything always mean something. Have a meaning. Or is there things that doesn't mean anything even if it feels like it mean something but you just don't' know what it means....I'm a bit confused so I think it is better I just end it here...
Made a poem once again....don't know why I put it here...hehe...:)
A little leaf of maple
Am I just a piece of trash.
Something very boring
something very ugly
and all the possible bad things.
What does it mean?
Or does it even mean anything?
What do I have to think about it?
When you look into my eyes
and say you are sorry
but still you don't even try to do things otherwise.
What does it mean?
What I suppose to think?
What I suppose to feel?
In the end it even doesn't matter
because it is just me who asks.
A little leaf of maple.
-Vierna-..............[living is just a small part of our lives ^^]
Tuesday, 25 September 2007
So....again...Yup!....:)
So. Yesterday I had that test. I didn't like it. It was difficult and there weren't enough time to do it :S...or I was just so stupid I couldn't do it faster. :( And now I just can wait what grade I will get. I can't do anything more for it. Aaargh! :S...Still so nervous..when I just think about that test :S...What if I fail? What if I don't pass the test?...Am I a loser?...Am I just very stupid? - Or does it even change me? Does it?...(yes, I know stupid questions but when you are enough nervous you (or at least I) think very odd things.
Okay...I don't know if I really want to put this poem here or not [I just thought that in the end I would put it anyway - so why not today]. I kinda like it but it is different and...Okay...I just wrote it (like all of my poems) so please don't read it too closely ^^.
The power of love
The power of love is the one that moves me
it makes me live day after day.
The power of love makes me strong
it makes me happy
but it also makes me vulnerable.
I can't stand sadness in your eyes
I can't stand anger in your heart.
And day after day I keep hoping
that I haven't hurt you
that I haven't make you angry.
Those feelings are so strong
and they make me confused.
And that is why I don't know what to think
but one thing is certain;
I will love you forever.
-Vierna- [please don't' kill me...or actually who cares ;) - in the end one have to die only once ^^ ]
Sunday, 23 September 2007
Aaaaaargh :S
I have an important test tomorrow so I'm quite nervous about it. I should go sleep early but I don't know can I sleep if I am too nervous. I don't know. My mum said it doesn't matter if I got an A if I pass the test. But it matters to me and I'm nervous. Okay, in the other hand I have to admit it was a relief to realize it is more likely that I pass the test than I got I and I don't pass it :) (like 5% or something gets I) - [don't know is it true that it is like that...]
I would be very happy if I got C. M would be something I just dream about. What comes to E and L I can't ever even imagine I could be so good at English I could get such a good grade ^^. So I'm quite happy after all because I just want to pass the exam [<- okay, its a lie but I have to believe it to be calmer :) ] {<- in some ways its true but in the end I won't be completely happy if I got just A - B is completely different thing :) }
I'm so nervous that my mind doesn't float freely around like it normally does...[it means I can't write poems :( ]
-Vierna- [long time no see :) - happy to see you again :) ] - {please laugh at me if you want - at least you live longer :) }
I would be very happy if I got C. M would be something I just dream about. What comes to E and L I can't ever even imagine I could be so good at English I could get such a good grade ^^. So I'm quite happy after all because I just want to pass the exam [<- okay, its a lie but I have to believe it to be calmer :) ] {<- in some ways its true but in the end I won't be completely happy if I got just A - B is completely different thing :) }
I'm so nervous that my mind doesn't float freely around like it normally does...[it means I can't write poems :( ]
-Vierna- [long time no see :) - happy to see you again :) ] - {please laugh at me if you want - at least you live longer :) }
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